I’m writing this blog in two parts: Day 30 and Day 31. It’s a little long, but I hope you enjoy!
Today, it’s Day 30! Woohoo! I felt very happy and excited all day that I had actually made it through 30 days, and so easily at that. Later in the afternoon, however, a weird mood started to set in.
I felt nervous. Nervous that when I stepped on the scale in the morning, it wouldn’t have changed as much as I wanted it to change. Nervous that I would all of the sudden go back to all my old habits without the rules dictating what I could and couldn’t eat.
Those nerves slowly transitioned to depression. What the heck? As I’m writing this, I’m pretty irritated that I feel this way. I mean, this has been amazing and no matter what the scale says in the morning, so many changes have taken place in me over the past month, that I should be so proud of myself and excited for the future!
I wish the scale didn’t matter as much in my mind. I’m still planning to weigh myself in the morning, but after that’s done I’m throwing the scale back into the closet for at least another two weeks, if not another month. I cannot, and will not, allow a number on a scale to derail my progress anymore.
I took after pics of myself tonight and that kinda bummed me out too. I guess I was expecting to see a huge difference in them, but I just don’t see it. BUT I’m not a photographer. I took pics of myself with my camera’s self-timer in bad lighting. So I closed the pics and probably won’t look at them again – what do they know anyway?
There is a list in the Whole30 book that they tell you to go over before weighing yourself. A list of all the positive changes that may have happened for you over the last 30 days. They have you do this so that you keep those things in mind when you step on the scale – it’s not just about the number!
Since I’m not a great morning person, I’m going over these things tonight.
Here are MY positive changes:
-Clothes fit better
-Feeling more confident in appearance (most days 😉 )
-Fewer PMS symptoms
-Less diarrhea (just being real here, folks!)
-Fewer seasonal allergies
-Fewer mood swings
-Fewer sugar cravings (none)
-Fewer carb cravings (none)
-Less reliance on the scale!!!
-Feeling in control of food
-Improved performance at job
-Faster reaction times
-Sleep more soundly
-Energy levels are higher
-Energy levels are more even!!!
-More energy in the morning (still not a morning person though.. let’s be clear..)
-More energy to exercise (lunchtime walks! Yay!)
-No longer need to eat every two hours
-No longer get cranky if I don’t eat
-Started moving or exercises (lunctime walks! Yay again!)
FOOD & BEHAVIORS
-Healthier relationship with food
-Eat to satiety
-Listening to my body
-No longer afraid of dietary fat
-LEARNED HOW TO COOK
-Don’t use food for comfort, reward, punishment, or stress management
-No longer a slave to sugar or carb cravings
-More variety, color, vitamins, and minerals in my diet
-No more food guilt or shame
-No more binging
LIFESTYLE & SOCIAL
-New cooking skills
-Meal prep is organized & efficient
-I am Whole30 🙂
Dang. I’m feeling better already! So glad I did that! See you in the morning, scale!
AND NOW, DAY 31
I laid in bed for a bit this morning, hesitant to get up. I eventually did though, and went to the bathroom where the scale waited. I took a deep breath and stood on the scale for a moment, waiting for it to register – hoping, praying to be amazed.
I only lost 8.8 lbs. Not even close to what I hoped or thought I would have lost.
I was hoping to post a different gif here, one of crazy excitement. Sigh. I had a moment this morning. I cried. I was upset. I kept wondering what I did wrong. What should I have done better? Should I have eaten less? More greens? Was I eating something against the rules without knowing? And people are going to be asking. They all know I’m weighing in today, and they’ll be so disappointed. I feel like a failure.
I pulled myself together cause a girl’s gotta go to work to pay the bills. I’ve been processing and thinking all day, and I’m glad to report that I’m in much higher spirits now. I kept reminding myself of all the good that’s happened (see list above). And I also realized that…
I didn’t do anything wrong.
I friggin lost 8.8 lbs by EATING FOOD. That’s 2.2 lbs a week.
Also, I didn’t measure myself when I started this (mistake), but I did measure myself back in January and this morning, and since January, I’ve not only lost about 16 lbs, but I’ve lost 6.5 inches overall – most of those inches probably in the last month.
People say I do look like I’ve lost weight. So you know what? Screw it, I’m posting the super-crazy-excited gif:
Guys. I’m so proud of myself. I’m rocking this lifestyle change like nobody’s business.
Guess what I did?
I kicked it in the ass.
And now: wine. Cheers!