Kintsukuroi

Spinning, spinning, dizzy, dizzy.
Slow down a bit and catch my breath.
Continue on, round and round, keep my balance, continue on.

Weary, weary, doing good?
Which way is forward? I no longer know.

Faster, faster, catch up now.
I falter,
I trip,
I fall.
Crashing down all at once.
The fear before the landing, the pain after the shock.

Shame, shame – they’re all looking, they all see.
The pieces of me,
now revealed,
shattered upon the ground.
I gather all I can, hold them close, then bow my head way down.

Never to look the same again, never to feel whole. Purpose lost, confusion gained.
Where do I go now?

Tears.
Silence.
Pause.

The cracks in me from my brokenness somehow become an invitation for You to fill me.
To fill me more, to fill me better.
The depths of my new-found weakness and pain become home to the depths of Your love.

Never to look the same again, never to be alone. The cracks in me become beauty, become story.

The cracks in me from my brokenness somehow become an invitation for You to fill me with more of You.

Had I known this from the start, I would have gladly crashed down long ago instead of running in figure eights and circles.

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